Charity Organizer Pillows

"The memorabilia auction was a huge flop."

"Did I just give, or did I give wisely? That is the question."

Charities knocking on doors.

'This isn't rocket science, Chuck. You donate $1,000 to a charity. You feel good. That's it.'

"Through our organization, we hope to eliminate poverty, illiteracy, hunger, blindness, hangnails, red tide, bad hats, and comb overs. Our motto: Focus and Achieve."

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

'It's a fund-raising dinner for the needy ... but hopefully none of them will be there.'

'Baked ham, pineapple, honey mustard, Swiss cheese, lettuce and tomato on a croissant? I'll get back to you. I always like to get more than one estimate.'

"We've a very special treat for you all now ladies. It's some W.I. members that haven't made a nude calendar..."

"Frankly, I wouldn't have bid as much, on lunch with Warren Buffett, if I had known he died two years ago."

'All profits go directly to charity'

'Hello, I'm kicking a can across the country to promote armlessness. Care to sponsor me?'

'Looks like the corporate donations saved your butt.'

Adopt a Bum: This one sponsored by 1st National Bank.

'The drought in africa must be geting serious, this stamp is stuck on with a pin.'

"An ounce of prevention." "This way we don't need to raise as much."

'It was all she had to offer, vicar.'

'The Americans want to rebuild our infrastructure. What's infrastructure?'

"Let's have a great capital campaign this year."

"It's an apathy awareness ribbon."

"When it comes to giving to charity, I stop at nothing."

Please give U.S. Fire & Flooding Victims

"Seems like all of Nancy’s nonprofit work is going to her head."

"Give me your KickStarter URL again. I'll just PayPal my money."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Face painting.

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Face painting by numbers.

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Brad Pitt

"By labeling it, I control it."