Charity Evaluator Gifts

Talk of charities 'providing their impact' is dangerous and misleading.

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

Sex Score

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

"An interesting selection, Dad, yet essentially a failure-as you can see, I'm still awake."

"Has it been in your family long?"

'You say here you're a people person.'

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."

'And as a new client of our law firm, you get this nifty neck brace to wear in court.'

"It's our first anniversary, so I've written up your performance review...."

'Some mentor you turned you turned out to be.'

"Also, that random comment you made three years ago will count against you."

'I see that wearing underwear endorsed by Michael Jordan has done nothing for your jump shot.'

A couple look at a graph on their bed

'Another stupid ball of string. I was hoping for a tablet."

"Is this book a true story or is it true it's a story?"

"I'd be very happy to give if I could be confident the money was spent well!"

'I revel in competition. I have two charities, right now, vying for my $50 donation.'

"I gave at the office!"

'Your performance in bed?...On technical merit of artistic impression?'

'Your new boyfriend has potential, needs some omprovement. Overlooks a few things.' 'My husband is an estate agent.'

"Sometimes, I think you enjoy the performance review more than the sex."

No more neurotic people in my life, but will I be bored

"They're offering me comprehensive medical and full dental. Now if they just throw in a salary it'll be perfect!"

DOH to involve charities in healthcare Provision..."The Wilmington's women's refuge wouldn't normally be our first choice for coronary care but their tender was too cheap to ignore."

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."

'Felton,has it occured to you that you may have taken a talent for self-effacement a bit too far?'

'I'd just like to go back to the 'all this' that Ed took me away from.'

'Does the soundtrack to my life always have to be played on a wobble board?'

'What is the minimum contribution needed to be considered a philanthropist?'