Project Evaluator Gifts

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'I received matching offers.'

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"I see that grading papers for the teacher is going to your head."

Valuation of Heaven

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

'I want a bigger piece of the pie.'

Sex Score

"An interesting selection, Dad, yet essentially a failure-as you can see, I'm still awake."

"Has it been in your family long?"

"Done with the evaluations? Great! Now let's evaluate the evaluations!"

"I think it's an early version of facebook."

'You say here you're a people person.'

'Maybe you just can't have hope and change at the same TIME.'

'Government performance targets reach unprecedented levels.'

'And as a new client of our law firm, you get this nifty neck brace to wear in court.'

"It's our first anniversary, so I've written up your performance review...."

Talk of charities 'providing their impact' is dangerous and misleading.

'Some mentor you turned you turned out to be.'

"Also, that random comment you made three years ago will count against you."

"I didn't go to college, but I took out and am defaulting on school loans to make it look like I did."

"Buying stuff online has rekindled Sean's literary ambitions. They're always asking for customer reviews."

"I'm sorry but a fat, guzzling wife cannot be classed as a consumable."

I tried to make ends meet but I'm a poor judge of distance. Due now. Bill. Bill. Due. Due now.

'Your new boyfriend has potential, needs some omprovement. Overlooks a few things.' 'My husband is an estate agent.'

'Felton,has it occured to you that you may have taken a talent for self-effacement a bit too far?'