Charitable Humorist Pillows

'Then one day money no longer turned me on, so I decided to give it all away to a young dame named 'Charity'.'

Ethics exam cheater.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

Downloading Pregnancy

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

"Gross."

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"According to your brain scan, you just don't want to go back to work."

Medical Equipment profit chart.