Chaotic Home Curator T-Shirts

He hurt himself taking out the Christmas tree? But it's February! That's not all, he tripped over the jack-o-lantern!

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Homo Gamus

"Bootsy has welcomed the vacuum robot into our home in her own unique way."

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

"I'm running a loose ship."

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

Clarence always halved lots of cargo.

The Secret Life of Pens

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

How men shop for towels.

'Painter'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

"You've really outdid yourself this time. A real masterpiece!"

I'm a "Gatherer-Hunter"

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

'My dad thinks I have a future in junk bonds.'

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

'Do not be alarmed... this is only a drill!'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

Me Head's in Bits

"It's the great pumpkin massacre"

I'm attacking this family's clutter! You need me? Yes! Help me decide which pile to start with. Tough call.

"I know it's surface-level behavior, but I think I just might respond to it."

'Can you call back? He's busy right now.'

"To save time, Dr. Nuclear, we ask that you stop following every correct answer with a bout of maniacal laughter."

"Don't you think we'll be memorable parents?"

'Don't worry, your father won't notice.'

'I love what you haven't done with this place.'

"George! You forgot to put the top on the popcorn popper."

"Mine's a metaphor. I don't know what's going on withyou."