Chaotic Carpenter Gifts

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

'J.B. Potts, Head of Research, Aerodynamics...'

"I've fixed the shelf, darling."

"And I suppose cleaning up after yourself just once would in some way stifle your precious creativity."

'Your manuscript was delicious.'

Cubits? Haven't You gone metric yet?

Woman Ruins Fishing Trip By Feeding the Fish.

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"

"Be honest...did you actually get any paint on the living room walls?"

'This reminds me of something funny. Remember the day I was shopping in that china shop and suddenly sneezed?'

"They're love poems alright, but he cuts up the lines, throws them in the air and reassembles them randomly..."

'My dad thinks I have a future in junk bonds.'

'Holiday insanity helpline.'

Potty Training.

Photocopying his ass was not as easy as he'd been led to believe.

Wallpaper over a door.

"It's the great pumpkin massacre"

Ainsley Harriott: "..Then add the nuts!"

'I keep it this way on purpose, for speedy reference.'

How is the homeschooling going?

Using a Snow Blower in Dorm Room.

'You've done it AGAIN,Doris- you've bought CAT food!!'

'Golf was too frustrating, so Ed took up painting!'

"A clean desk is the Devil's workshop, that's my motto."

"Kleinzweck is our resident punk physicist."

"This year WE EAT LIKE WOLVES."

A man hunting in gale of wind

Man Nailed to Wall

'You should have ordered - this is the last cake in the shop...'

'I learn so many new words when Daddy does d.i.y.!'