Chaos Warrior Gifts

'I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Face painting.

What My Day Feels Like

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

"There, all neat and tidy!"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

"I'm so good at this!"

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

The Difficulties of Transporting Boats

"So I bought this doohickey that is very good with chaos."

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

Unsafe Drain Covers!

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

The inevitable conflict of interest facing every crisis manager.

'And this is what Larry calls his 'man cave'.'

Paper Trail

"Please excuse the mess. We had a major paradigm shift."