Chaos Warrior Gifts

'I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Face painting.

What My Day Feels Like

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

"I'm so good at this!"

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

Unsafe Drain Covers!

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"So I bought this doohickey that is very good with chaos."

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

The Difficulties of Transporting Boats

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

The inevitable conflict of interest facing every crisis manager.

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

This must be the address where Joe and Maureen are throwing the dinner party!

'And this is what Larry calls his 'man cave'.'

Paper Trail

Fetching some bread