Chaos Commander T-Shirts

How I learned to stop worrying and start hammering

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Must... Remember...

"Don't mind the mess. The computers went down this morning."

The art of fishing.

"I am beginning to think that my student teaching experience may not have completely prepared me for my own classroom."

Pot washer.

"She's trying to make you feel quilty!"

Paper Trail

"Please excuse the mess. We had a major paradigm shift."

"Quick, does anyone here know a C.P.A.?"

It's folks like Mildred who make collectibles collectable!

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

Names for your unwanted baby.

Wordilly Durdillies - Larry needed time to get his head together

"I'm so good at this!"

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

The Baby Walker

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Quick, start the car!"

"The meeting will come to order."

Here and There Trays

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

"I've told you before one at each end!"

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'