Channel Chaser Gifts

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Painting clouds

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

The World Wide Web.

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

WiFi Signals

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

Surfing koala.

"Smaller, more powerful chips allow me to have a smaller head."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

ACME Balloon Company.

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

'And right here they merged...'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

"Oh, I can't complain"

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

Dragon Graph

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

'This is why we can't have nice things... '