Chain Chaser Gifts

Eddy Merckx

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

WiFi Signals

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

Cat Zoom Meeting

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

Letter writing lady.

'This is no game! This is who I am!'

'No, and I mean it! We just went for a walk an hour ago.'

Tango

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

"So what's on the agenda today? Let's see--nap, then count my spots, then nap again, then chase my tale, nap yet again, then beg for good, nap, scratch at the door, finally come in and find a spot to go to sleep. Just not enough time in the day."

'The woman who crossed the street when she say Marmaduke. . . I think she was his groomer.'

"Stop chasing my tail? I'd be lost if I had no goal in life."

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

'Don't you miss the thrill of the chase?'

'There's a cat in our yard! Release the hounds!'

"Hey! Your phone isn't turned on."

"These dizzy spells, I have a theory."

'Wow, you really have Tabby excited now! I can almost hear her breathe!'

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."