Champagne Aficionado Gifts

Champagne Cork Takes Out Plane.

'I want this sent first class - do we have any champagne bottles?'

Trump Cork

"....and by taking in a lodger the police won't be suspicious about how I can suddenly afford to throw champagne parties on the yacht!"

Grand Prix winner drinking all the champagne.

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

Champagne Charlie.

The situation has become desperate. Please send Champagne

'We're experimenting with less-expensive alternatives to fossil fuel.'

Champagne Bottles at 50 Paces.

Two women celebrating with champagne.

"I have a case of the Winter Ceruleans."

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Now I really hate poetry."

Sauvignon Bonk

'No ice.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"Too much sugar."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Bubbly

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Bubble gum leaves

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

You're the botanicals in my gin

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Shaken not stirred