Champagne Aficionado Pillows

Champagne Cork Takes Out Plane.

'I want this sent first class - do we have any champagne bottles?'

Trump Cork

"....and by taking in a lodger the police won't be suspicious about how I can suddenly afford to throw champagne parties on the yacht!"

Grand Prix winner drinking all the champagne.

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

Champagne Charlie.

The situation has become desperate. Please send Champagne

'We're experimenting with less-expensive alternatives to fossil fuel.'

Champagne Bottles at 50 Paces.

Two women celebrating with champagne.

"I have a case of the Winter Ceruleans."

"I'm sorry but the bubbles make me giggle."

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Yoga for Alcoholics

Sauvignon Bonk

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"Now I really hate poetry."

'No ice.'

"Too much sugar."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Bubbly

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Allegro con molto espresso

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'