Chalk Champion Gifts

'The gentlemans washroom at the indoor bouldering comp'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"Draw your own path."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'May I say it's a great pleasure to present my work to such a distinquished assembly of my colleagues.'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"If you don't stop saying 'This whole game is a charade!' we're going home."

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

'This part was tenure.'

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

An angry barbecue.

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

"Well, here's your problem. You need an O right there."

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

'...Or not.'

'I forgot the question.'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

I will not waste chalk kid...

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

Counsel for the prosecution makes its closing argument in mime court.