Chakra Tuner Gifts

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"Show off."

'Why do I have to do this? -- Violins never solve anything!'

A souped up car...

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

Our Life Coaches: New Beginnings Retreat Center

Third eye

'Don't worry, the first 30 years working as a sound engineer are the hardest.'

'You know, I think this is my most boring reincarnation ever!'

' ... Ohm ... Ohm ... Ohm ...'

"Let's work on opening up that fourth chakra."

Mechanic tinkering with engine of a car made of a human head

"What did it say on the seed packet?"

'I found it in the Karma Sutra - it's an old Indian bondage trick.'

I love Yoga

Straightening up.

"And may all your chakras be blocked!"

"I understand that your chakra may be 'out of alignment', but can we check first if your broken arm might be causing your pain?"

"Oom..."

Ted attempts to correct his slow running hourglass.

Girl and PC

"A P.C. is a P.C....a Copier is a Copier...and never the twain shall meet!"

'...I can accept that bad things sometimes happen to good people. What drives me nuts is how all the good things always seem to happen to people I can't stand!'

'You might be right that your pain results from a misaligned Charkra...but just humour me and let's see if the broken leg has anything to do with it?'

"You MAY be right and the pain may be the result of a 'misaligned chakra' but just humour me and let's see if the broken leg has anything to do with it!"

"Do you believe in karma?"