Chainsaw Maestro T-Shirts

Ice Sculpting Class.

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"They didn’t warn us about this in our training"

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

Lumberjack Finds Strange Tree Rings

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

Musical Bicycle.

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

Lumberjack:'TIMBERRRR!' Tree:'MURDERERRRR!'

Carpenter

"It's okay. The chainsaw runs on biofuel."

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

Chainsaw and Chair

"Now... shall we count YOUR rings..?"

'I play heavy metal.'

Workers rest

8th Annual Chainsaw Carving Competition

Ted tests the limits of his new mulching mower.

Incompetent gardeners cause havoc

"I've never seen Baldo so excited about mowing the lawn."

Deforestation

'Shears...loppers...chainsaw...'

"Of course he's old enough to cut the cake."

You B*****D