Chain Store Challenger T-Shirts

"What town are we in??"

'If we let this happen, soon we'll be swamped in chain stores.'

Book barn: now with 50% less irony

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

Trickle down

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

'My mom won't let me play 'Merchants of Mayhem.' I tried, but she's a game changer.'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

'The numbers don't look quite so bad along with the hard liquor.'

"Here's your problem."

Early Goths.

'I don't understand. Is our performance going up or down?'

'Checkmate!'

10 items or less

'That dog's so greedy - it's only an hour since the last salesman called!'

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

Elderly couple bearing a sign: '...We take ages.'

'Just when I thought we might become competitive they launch this vertical integration strategy.'

'I revel in competition. I have two charities, right now, vying for my $50 donation.'

"But honey, I can't find the cornstarch and neither can the GPS."

"I gave at the office!"

'What do you mean overdraft? I still have 12 cheques left. '

Another Starbucks Coming Soon

'Great news, I've just swum the channel...lenthwise.'

Supermarket Self Service Checkout

"If you'd like to hear the options again, curse in any language."

'Small business' begging to be let in 'Banks' maze to find a loan

'How do you expect me to balance the checkbook on your income?'

"I'm afraid you've maxed out your consumer confidence."

DOH to involve charities in healthcare Provision..."The Wilmington's women's refuge wouldn't normally be our first choice for coronary care but their tender was too cheap to ignore."

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"You can hold for an assistant, or you can go online and chat with our robot until it tells you to hold for an assistant."

Cash Only QUIK SHOP: NO checks! NO credit! NO coupons! NO small talk!