Chain Smoking Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Gas prices are horrible! I can barely afford chain smoking and the booze!"

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

Merry Christmas.

"I can really taste my food since giving up smoking, so I've started again."

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"Gosh! Look what he's done to his Harry Potter books..."

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

'A lab had me smoking cigarettes for months. I'm living off my disability payments. You?'

Trilby - Sandy McAllister,'The Laird of Cockpen'.

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

"It's okay. The chainsaw runs on biofuel."

"So it's agreed then. From now on we're to do our hourse trading in partially smoke-filled rooms."

George can overreact when people criticise his barbecues.

Vaping cigarette

Chainsaw and Chair

"Your early stuff was funnier."

"20% of medical opinion may change every five years...but it won't be the 20% that says smoking 20 a day and being 5 stone overweight is bad for you!"

"Now... shall we count YOUR rings..?"

Nature is not perfect

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

'We don't get many takers for the smoking section anymore.'

"Mr Hudson, could you kindly refrain from smoking in the brain scan machine."

'My doctor's fit note suggested a phased return to work. I'll see you for another smoking break tomorrow.'

"'Greetings in peace and love. This letter will bring you good luck. It has been around the world four times. Do not break the chain or you will have bad luck. Make 15 copies of ...''"

Sergei Rachmaninov

"Bob sacrifices the first burger to the barbecue gods."

"Will you stop smoking in bed! Our money is in our mattress!"

'Finally I can enjoy a smoke without this constant fear that some day it'll kill me!' (smoking in heaven)

"It's for you."

'I had a great holiday, what do you think of the suntan?'

'Excuse me, would you like a 'pre-coital cigarette'?'

'He knew he was hyte when his last locofoco seemed gynecoid.'