Ball And Chain Enthusiast T-Shirts

The Prison Footballer

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Perils of the double play.

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

I love Basketball.

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Official Team Cap With Beard

'Here is is. 'Vicarious: imagined participation in another's experience' ... it doesn't mean you actually get to play on your son's team.'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

Baseball Dreams

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

An Old-Timer/An Old Codger/An Old Geezer

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

A Masked Ball

"This time I'm really, really going to throw it."

"Sorry, boss, I do care if I ever get back — that was just the peanuts and Cracker Jack talking."

Baseball breaking the fourth wall of the cartoon panel.