Chain Smoking Enthusiast Pillows

"Gas prices are horrible! I can barely afford chain smoking and the booze!"

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

Merry Christmas.

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

"I can really taste my food since giving up smoking, so I've started again."

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

Trilby - Sandy McAllister,'The Laird of Cockpen'.

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

'A lab had me smoking cigarettes for months. I'm living off my disability payments. You?'

Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

"It's okay. The chainsaw runs on biofuel."

"So it's agreed then. From now on we're to do our hourse trading in partially smoke-filled rooms."

Vaping cigarette

George can overreact when people criticise his barbecues.

"Your early stuff was funnier."

"20% of medical opinion may change every five years...but it won't be the 20% that says smoking 20 a day and being 5 stone overweight is bad for you!"

Chainsaw and Chair

'We don't get many takers for the smoking section anymore.'

"Mr Hudson, could you kindly refrain from smoking in the brain scan machine."

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

Nature is not perfect

"Now... shall we count YOUR rings..?"

'My doctor's fit note suggested a phased return to work. I'll see you for another smoking break tomorrow.'

"'Greetings in peace and love. This letter will bring you good luck. It has been around the world four times. Do not break the chain or you will have bad luck. Make 15 copies of ...''"

"Bob sacrifices the first burger to the barbecue gods."

Sergei Rachmaninov

"Will you stop smoking in bed! Our money is in our mattress!"

'Excuse me, would you like a 'pre-coital cigarette'?'

"It's for you."

'Finally I can enjoy a smoke without this constant fear that some day it'll kill me!' (smoking in heaven)

Deforestation

Flamo the Fire Eater offering light to female bar patron

'I had a great holiday, what do you think of the suntan?'