Ceremonial Humorists Gifts

"Sinead?!"

"Here we are."

'He does.'

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'I'm organic.'

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

I thought we agreed, this birdbath was our little secret!

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

"I now pronounce you guilty."

The Birth of the Easter Bunny.

Fisherman Funneral

RETIREMENT VOWS

Busking Elephant

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

'Did you know that your lips move when you paint?'

'Why is he always hanging around?'

'When you said we were planting a bug, this isn't what I thought you had in mind."

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."