Cereal Eater Gifts

'You have to send in $5 for a decoder ring to decipher the list of ingredients.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

German Expressionist Breakfast

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

Power breakfast.

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Cereal Tasting.

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Gullib-Os

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

"It's magically delicious...especially when you sprinkle...Halloween candy on it!"

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

Mom bought the wrong flakes

"Everything bad for you has already been removed."

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

'It's the natural cereal you requested. No additives. No preservatives. No artificial color.'

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

"No, we're not buying that cereal - do you know how much sugar it contains?! Not nearly enough!"

'It's every SNOW flake that's different, Billy - Not every CORN flake.'

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.