Cereal Eater Gifts

'You have to send in $5 for a decoder ring to decipher the list of ingredients.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

German Expressionist Breakfast

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Power breakfast.

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Cereal Tasting.

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Gullib-Os

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

Mom bought the wrong flakes

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

"It's magically delicious...especially when you sprinkle...Halloween candy on it!"

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"Everything bad for you has already been removed."

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

"I go soggy in the bath."

Credit Crunch: Breakfast for Losers.

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

"Nice landing, Captain Crunch."

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

'It's the natural cereal you requested. No additives. No preservatives. No artificial color.'