Ceramic Collector Gifts

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Well....I could've done this!"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

New Age Store.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Brick Salesman

Like most billionaires, Hugh Andrews the third prefers to bowl with crystal pins.

'We like a nice pot of tea.'

A Lady Out Shopping.

Instant art

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

"I wonder what this was for."

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

'Great to see the Mayan pottery collection is still drawing a crowd.'

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

Teapot Art

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'How old is this vase?'

'I love the Giant's Causeway.'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

Kettle Drum

"Interestingly no - these are vastly enlarged images of my three favourite chromosomes."

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'