Censorship Cynic Gifts

"Comments are turned off."

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

Trappist Monk Discord

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Nihilistic customer service"

"Psst! Hey, kids."

Twitter Suspends Don Junior

The Forever Stamp

Press freedom makes democracy.

Freedom Book.

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Projection

Space Tours. Ernie, in this interview promoting your space tours, you didn't acknowledge the first test rocket was vaporized in a huge launch pad explosion. I said "The first test yielded spectacular results!" There's nothing about your lack of a system to provide oxygen for the travelers. I informed people "the experience will leave you breathless!" Lots of your technology is straight out of the 19th century! I said "Come be a pioneer!" It seems most of your company's effort went into th

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"Have you noticed that the people who want to ban a film are the ones who wouldn't want to see it?"

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

Censorship | Not Censorship

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

I defend to the death your right to say things I agree with.

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

Bartender, there's a human finger in my beer. Today's comics readers are pretty jaded, sir. They're no longer shocked by a fly in a bowl of soup.

Bush vs. America

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

'Huh! Nobody home!'

"I didn't like the stamp, I didn't like the opera, and I don't like the movie."

Born Cynical,,,,