Cellular Socialite Gifts

Dog has cellphone. Woman says to man: 'I think he likes you. Look, he wants to swap mobile numbers.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

Cellphone Islands

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

The Modern Novel.

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Church Basement Foodie

Children's Party

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

Online marriage ceremony.

"Happy thanksgiving!"

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

A day at the races

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

Social Notworking

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Today's Buzz word...

Dog Teenagers

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

Man and woman meet in bar, in strained poses. He says: 'Now we've met, can we drop the Myspace poses?'