Cellphone Skeptic Gifts

Etiquette and the mobile phone - "Oh hi. I'm on a training course."

"Use your phone once more during dinner...And I'll send you close-ups of my patients' wounds."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

'Man, times have changed.'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

I.T. Fear

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Privacy

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Modern Life Blues

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Domestic Spying Drones

Big Brother.

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Tarzan no want computer."

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

Diner is served

"Oh, this? It can access every piece of knowledge from the history of mankind and I hate it."

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."