Mobile Skeptic Gifts

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

Studies show foods work miracles!

CIA report

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

I.T. Fear

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

Why do you hate the media?

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Classic News.

Privacy

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

Big Brother.

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!