Cellphone Enthusiast Gifts

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

If Sadie has an advice website, I need one too. Such as? I need to build a site based around something I do well. So what is my one great strength? Getting distracted. Cool. What's cool? The fact you get distracted? Your new cellphone. It's awesome. This all ends badly.

I'm looking at photos of potential dates here. Your "screening" process.

Man with a mobile phone pretending to be an aeroplane.

'Increasing resistance.'

"No! I don't want another selfie!"

"Hello, it's me - I'm on the car!"

"Ay...cell phone ringtones can be so irritating!"

"Hey. Nobody gives me *&$# and get's away with it."

Marvin never got booty calls, just boob calls.

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

'Man, times have changed.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Technology and Love

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

'Oh, it's me... Time out. I've gotta take this.'

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

Ann suddenly realized that it wasn't her iron that she forgot to turn off, but her cell phone.

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

Thermidor Dali

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

'And now for the anesthesia: I've got plenty of conventional anesthetics I could use here but you can also choose to spend half an hour on the phone with my mother...'

"The wattle fairy came again last night."

"Can we wait a few seconds? I'm downloading the Excuse App."

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

"She cries when I give it to her, she cries when I take it away."