Cellphone Cynic Pillows

'This must be the Sea of Tranquility.'

Dawing your Cellphone

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

Unsocial Networking.

People crossing the street while texting use white canes.

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"

"Well, if you can't trust software upgrades, who can you trust?"

iPhone: Leading Our Grand March Into Mass Mediocrity

"Stop right there, it's my stockbroker: I have to take this!"

"Use your phone once more during dinner...And I'll send you close-ups of my patients' wounds."

Don't worry, Bob. There are some jobs a robot just can't do...like kissing ass.

"Hello? I can't talk right now! I'm on a plane! What?! No! Just leave some food in her dish! What?! I can't talk!"

"I've got to take this. It's somebody at a much better party."

What's that annoying sound? BEEEP. I've figured it out! I lost one of my cell phones. It's somewhere in the caf

'A real person's answered it. I hate that. I'll call back when their voicemail's activated.'

"Of course your data isn't really in a cloud. That's almost as silly as thinking your money is actually in this bank."

'I'll tell you, Ed, this new technology is starting to realy spook me out.'

This is not a scam. Send money and receive authentic 'This is Not A Scam' certificate."

We value your privacy. . . . . yeah, right.

'That's called the 'Mask of Tragedy.' Otherwise known as the last person whose cell phone rang during the opera!'

Please take a number.. '.E = MC2?'

'Hello, and welcome to Acme Cable. If you're calling about a billing issue, big whoop. Get over it and pay the bill. If your cable is out, who cares. When it's fixed, you'll know it. If you're...'

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Pat Buchanan?'

Such a Coincidence

"Are robocalls a problem? Heck no. I gave up answering the phone years ago."

"I have an app that gives me points for looking up from my phone."

"Ok. Who has a texting addiction?"

"Hang on...I think you're losing me."

Free at last from all forms of electronic and digital interconnectedness!

Just kidding, we don't really reject you for not reading all those terms of service agreements.

More and more people around the world are asking to be buried with their phones, in case of a premature burial...

"I think you'll want to talk to this telemarketer. He's selling a phone device that prevents other telemarketers from calling."

'The only thing he brought back from Earth is their annoying cell phone technology.'

Sign reads: 'Will work for my daughter's cell phone bill!'