Telemarketing Cynic Pillows

"I think you'll want to talk to this telemarketer. He's selling a phone device that prevents other telemarketers from calling."

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

'This must be the Sea of Tranquility.'

'A telemarketing call for you, Sir.'

"It's a robocall, should I take it?"

"Even though I'm a robot with robot with no emotions, all these telemarketing calls I'm getting is starting to get on my nerves."

Don't worry, Bob. There are some jobs a robot just can't do...like kissing ass.

'Please... take... a... moment... to... complete... our... brief... survey... to... help... improve... customer... satisfaction... '

'A real person's answered it. I hate that. I'll call back when their voicemail's activated.'

"I only wish this was the final notice."

"Am I covered for the brain cell damage caused by your TV commercials?"

"Faked by a snake selling rakes."

A Dog Who Never Got His Day.

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."

"Car insurance?? - No thanks!"

"In the name of all that is good, I cast thee away from this home...leave these people be!"

'I'll tell you, Ed, this new technology is starting to realy spook me out.'

"We interrupt this endless stream of mind-numbing adverts to bring you a TV programme..."

"Here, this one says it gives cold relief in seven to ten days. . . wait a minute! Don't colds usually only last seven to ten days?"

"To be honest I thought Hades would be Hellfire, Brimstone and eternal suffering....but this is way worse!!"

"I'll have one long Belch ale, an Old Makesmepee, and two Dumb Flirt Lights on tap."

'Hello, and welcome to Acme Cable. If you're calling about a billing issue, big whoop. Get over it and pay the bill. If your cable is out, who cares. When it's fixed, you'll know it. If you're...'

"Hi this is Mario...is this Sergio Bermudez? Are you interested in buying..."

"Are robocalls a problem? Heck no. I gave up answering the phone years ago."

'Grandma takes our telemarketer calls.'

"Waiting for some customers to call?!"

Free at last from all forms of electronic and digital interconnectedness!

"Must resist...phone allure...of bilingual telemarketers!"

"Yes, I'd like to be placed on the Do Not Call list. Also, happy birthday Mom."

If you don't see what you want - just ask.

"Yes, I keep a landline. Getting up 50 times a day to answer telemarketers keeps me in shape."