Cellblock Comedian Gifts

'And then the jury decided that I was ready for a long term relationship with the penal code system.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

Dawing your Cellphone

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Back when I was your age the only way to get a promotion was kissing butt."

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"It is what it is."

"Yes, I'm alone."

I can outsource your job to someone who'll work longer hours for less money. Less money I can understand...but how do they make the hours longer than 60 minutes?

Suggestion box which shreds forms placed in it.

Just don't let the old man get you down.

"I find it best to stay out of office politics!"

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

The March to the Top

"It's your cubicle, Nelson, not your coop."

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."