Cell Culture Collector T-Shirts

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"Nuts to you, too."

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

"I'm going to get you fired."

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'Try his land line.'

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

The Houseplant Cemetery.

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

Flytrap nerd.

Everything's coming up roses!

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

The Ugly Plant

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

Cultured Cells/Uncultured Cells

Bell invents the telephone.

"In the olden days, people used payphones. Beats me how they took selfies!"

'Yes, I'm really modern now. I use a cell phone and no longer need a phone booth.'

"Your tests are back. You're allergic to tissues."

'Whoa! A classic case of mailbox catalog overload blowout!'

"I've traveled billions of light-years and visited countless planets. Earth is the only place I can't get a signal."

Diversity...