Celestial Tourist Gifts

Celestial Navigation

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

Blue Origin

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

"You're getting close. This is the gift shop."

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

"You are here"

"When I was your age the Big Dipper was over THERE."

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

No caption. (An astronomer looks through a high-powered telescope while a baby in a crib looks through a hand-held scope).

Moon Souvenirs

Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"

'Peace on...peace on...good heavens! Where are we?!'

UFO

You are everywhere.

"I'm your sun!"

"Gazing at stars really makes you realise the insignificance of your co-workers."

Sun Wearing Sunglasses/Moon Wearing Night Vision Goggles

'I hate to break it to you, but moons don't grow up to be planets OR stars.'

'Whoops!'

Angel with speed camera.

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

'Recalculating!'

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Vacation on the Moon.

"So this is where it all ends up. . ."

Efforts Results In Seeing Stars

President of Flat Earth departs laterally

'He seems nice.'

"Could you help me with this?"