Planetary Tourists Gifts

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

Blue Origin

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

"Going to Mars sounded like fun. Do you think we can get dad to finance it?"

"Oh well, at least it's not Earth."

TV - MARS, weather: 'Very hot and dry days, bitterly cold nights and no precipitation for the next several million years!'

"Possible exception to Prince William's proposed halt on space travel." proposed halt on space travel."

"Houston, Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Tampa, Juneau, Honolulu, we have a problem."

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

UFO and snowman

"You are here"

Celestial Navigation

"How can you claim to offer directions if you don't know the best way to Epsilon Delta VII?"

"I don’t know why we bother traveling—they just missed the entire Milky Way."

"We came to your planet because there are just not enough pickleball courts on our planet."

Moon Souvenirs

UFO

Vacation on the Moon.

The five inhospitable gas giants

"So this is where it all ends up. . ."

I went to Earth and made crop circles, but all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

'Uh, no offense, but is there other life here?'

"Could you help me with this?"

"I can't afford those 10 minute space flights, but a 10 minute double martini puts me in some kind of orbit."

Mars-A-Lago

'Looks like the Germans were here first.'

'We're not going to Roswell again, it's such a tourist trap.'

"We've bookmarked your planet in case we want to come back."