Celestial Snacker Gifts

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

Suddenly, God gets the urge for an Earth cream cone.

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"You were right, I didn't want to stop."

"The bagels are better in New York."

Holy Macaroni,

Studying String Cheese Theory

Breakfast surreal.

Well, O.K., so you found fast food, but what's the hurry?

"We grind our own catnip."

'I don't migrate any more. The satellite dish has made the long winter nights quite bearable.'

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

"Put some spiritual food in there."

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

"It's from the IRS. They demand full disclosure of all treasures laid up here."

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

"Make me one with everything."

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

"We'll cut you some slack because you're new here, but in the future you should know we frown on Devil's food."

'Sure $16.95 is a lot for a burger and fries, but what can you do?'

'Oi! - Have you nicked one of my sausages?'

Pizza delivery to heaven.

'Not eucalyptus leaves again!'

Eating in Heaven.

"Pizza lover's pizza"

Cheeseboard mouse trap

'It's a tweet from heaven. They say if we don't stop watching them, they're going to tell God.'

I can't find the artisanal Pop-Tarts.

'Personally, I think the cumulous taste more cotton candy then marshmallow.'

'Well, she did it to me again... Left overs!'

The drinks were expensive, but at least the nuts were complimentary.

Vending machine has options of THIS, THAT, HEM HAW.

'Try some -- it's 'om mani padme hummus.''