Satellite Snackers Gifts

'I don't migrate any more. The satellite dish has made the long winter nights quite bearable.'

"Fresh pepper?"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Don't tell coach about this- he doesn't want us to be friends."

Studying String Cheese Theory

Breakfast surreal.

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'We've been through thick and thin. Tell me about the thin again.'

'He asked me if I wanted to put anything on my burger, so I had a tenner each way.'

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

Sometimes, instead of one big meal, I prefer tapas.

"Dad, what is a meal?"

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

'Oi! - Have you nicked one of my sausages?'

Eating in Heaven.

"Yeah, he calls me his best friend alright, but he's never shared his hot chips: not once!"

Diet.

"Would you describe yourself as conservative voter."

Suddenly, God gets the urge for an Earth cream cone.

'It's a new reality show on the Women's Channel -- 'Stupid Husband Tricks.''

Sonata in C for Piano and Potato Chips

'Personally, I think the cumulous taste more cotton candy then marshmallow.'

'Oooh, let's DO lunch.'

Cheap eats

'This diet is killing me! -- Last night I dreamed that I ate Willy Wonka!'

One smart cookie

'Joe-do we do a business man's lunch?'

Workmen eat steel beams at lunch hour.

"Did you want a Vedic or non-Vedic table?"

"That's the trouble with all these classic movies...they're all reruns!"