Celestial Sage Gifts

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

Bishop with a crozier case.

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

'I say we report the snow and ice and just leave it at that.'

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

"Either the crystal ball's had it or you have."

"I hope it's not contagious."

Possible Merger Talks

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

"First, I storyboarded it."

Oscar Wilde

"I need to know what the future holds, at least for the next six weeks."

"What is the speed of dark?"

"Don't be discouraged. Do it over, monitor the results...write your paper."

'How many potatoes to make a bottle of vodka?.'

Distilleries Association