Celestial Comedy Seeker Pillows

"That's the first time I've heard 'My Way' played on a harp."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"OMG, LOL!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Halo Frisbee.

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Alien attack in the 1950s

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

Shoe repair

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

'Anything good on tonight?'

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"

'Do you have a few minutes to discuss your retirement years, sir?'

'We've discovered a massive dust and gas cloud which is either the beginning of a new star or just a hell of a lot of dust and gas.'

'Thirty-two feet per second squared, eh? -- that should hold them for awhile!:

God working clay on a potters wheel creating a vase with a person's arms and legs sticking out.

"God lives in the eternal present. The gift that keeps on giving."

"I'm expecting easy confirmation."