Celestial Comedy Collector Gifts

Angels smoke outside the Pearly Gates

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Good game."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Halo Frisbee.

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Shoe repair

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

'Anything good on tonight?'

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

'Thirty-two feet per second squared, eh? -- that should hold them for awhile!:

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"

'Do you have a few minutes to discuss your retirement years, sir?'

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'