Celestial Comedy Collector T-Shirts

Angels smoke outside the Pearly Gates

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Good game."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Halo Frisbee.

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Shoe repair

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

'Anything good on tonight?'

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"

'Do you have a few minutes to discuss your retirement years, sir?'

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

'Thirty-two feet per second squared, eh? -- that should hold them for awhile!:

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.