Celestial Satire Collector T-Shirts

'Uh, You know that honor system you worked out with Adam and Eve?...'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

The water desk

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

Slave Drivers.

'Don't be so sexist, sweet cheeks.'

'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.'

'Thanks for not asking for a rise.'

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

My boss is a real turd.

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

"See that guy over there? Used to be a real headliner."

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

"Fire, bad. Smoke, good... quite the conundrum."

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

"Of course there are some advantages to working here...we have a Food Bank situated conveniently at the end of the street!"

'I hope everyone saw the ATM installed in the entrance.'

'Well, your income looks good, and you've been on your job for over two years... but it seems you're 15 trillion dollars in debt.'

'I'm concerned. I enjoy paying taxes.'

'I miss the evildoers.'

"Not to worry mum - I've spotted us a Banksy!"

'Yes sire, we are dealing with your invoice at this very minute.'

'Layoffs are bad enough without you making them play musical chairs.'

This house believes that "No Platforming" is not an attack on free speech.

"The jury will disregard the defendant's statement that he will donate 100% of his criminal earnings to the Concerned Mobsters for Eritrea Fund!"