Celestial Satire Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Adam was okay, but I'd like the next project to be more user-friendly.'

"Good game."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

Water is discovered on the moon....

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

'Those are the Divinity students.'

Heaven

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

Life on cloud 8

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"Sometimes I miss a good smiting."

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

New Years Reolutions

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

"It's not just you, Reverend, we make it clear to everyone, we don't want any trouble up here."

"It's about all the treasure laid up here."