Celery Skeptic Gifts

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

I.T. Fear

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Privacy

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Tarzan no want computer."

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

Diner is served

"Oh, this? It can access every piece of knowledge from the history of mankind and I hate it."

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."