Celebrity Spotting Pro Pillows

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Young boy thinks he's spotted an old rocker.

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

'Get me public relations!'

Tom Cruise

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

Trainspotters a group of trainspotters outside a church taking down details of a Bride's wedding gown train

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"Should I as for an autograph? The cow's famous. It was in a Far Side cartoon."

Polar Bear Paparazzi.

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

Maps of the Human Genome

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'Hey, isn't that that bloke off the telly?'

Fan club

"For me it's all about the craft of acting."