Celebrity Name-dropper Gifts

"Holly and Michael were growing envious of their son's imaginary friend… Rickey and me are going to the Knicks game with Bruce Springsteen!"

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Meanwhile in Hollywood

The americanisation of vulture.

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Little Red Riding Carpet

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

Children arguing over the name of a fish

Eva Mendez

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

People leave joke shop with false moustache, nose and glasses marketed as 'the Robert Winston'.

"This lovely song tells of a young, pretty actress, her ups and downs, and how she found happiness after rehab."

David Bowie

Meryl Streep

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

Charlotte Rampling

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

'I'm Anna Nicole Smith. But not THE Anna Nicole Smith!'

Live the Dream!

Pop star weather report.

Love Island

Geri Halliwell.

"I didn't mean anything by it. I don't know why I said it. I just said it, that's all. Twiggy."

'Take me to Anna Nicole Smith!'

Chihuahua's nightmare: 'There's a sneering voice talking to me: 'You'll get stuffed between a blonde celebrity's breasts till you can't breathe anymore!' Then I wake up bathed in sweat...'