Name-dropping Expert Gifts

"Your favourite and my favourite...whose name escapes me at the moment..."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

Pull the udder one

Children arguing over the name of a fish

"I said, the brewery has rather overdone the ambiance in here..."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

"Holly and Michael were growing envious of their son's imaginary friend… Rickey and me are going to the Knicks game with Bruce Springsteen!"

"I have eight spirits coming through."

"He's in a high stake poker game right now."

Referee's Free Kick Pack

'I'm all in.'

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

If you rotate the corporate ladder by 90 degrees, you end up with monkey bars.

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

'The aurora borealis. Which is why you should never name something with your mouth full.'

A Vet? I had you picked in advertising.

Obscene Hollywood phone call

'We're launching a billion-dollar space mission. We need a name. They say you're the best.'

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

"MBA or not, get a haircut and cover up the tattoos."

'Do you get your good looks from your mother or your father?'

"Is it your intention to seethe for the next four years?"

'He's easy to bluff...'

"So, how long have you two been in Ghana studying the apes?"

'Need any help with packing?'

'There are so many kids in my family that I can only get 'hand-me-downs'...'

'It's a compiltaion of my best excuses for not doing my homework...now available for download.'

"Hey, whoa, kids! Remember that we have to be extra quiet when mommy's in her remote working cubicle."

How to be sure you really like that baby name.

To counteract the pub bore Al cultivated the ancient art of sleeping with his eyes open.

"The neighbours are having a lot of foreplay tonight."foreplay