Celebrity Moo-d Gifts

Botox!

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Meanwhile in Hollywood

Motorherd

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

The americanisation of vulture.

Jack Gleeson

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

Little Red Riding Carpet

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

Tom Hanks

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

Vanna White: The Later Years.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Cow writer.

George Clooney Machine

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.