Metalhead Moo-lover Gifts

Motorherd

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

Cats

"I'm just gonna do one more set."

Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a chocolate bunny at his easter concert.

Santa Metal Claus

Fuzz - there's a rumor about the band that we only play Metallica covers...

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

"Well, at least I'm embracing my feminine side!"

'...it's a robots staple diet.'

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

'We realise that your speciality is heavy metal...'

MAH MOO MAH MAH MOO MOO MOO MOO MAH MOOMAH MOO MAH MAH MOOMAH MOO MOO!

Working from home.

'Shall I be moth?'

'My client denies taking any performance-enhancing drugs when she jumped over the moon.'

I blame society for putting me here. But mostly I blame metallurgy for keeping me here.

'Air guitar 101.'

Man who works at a magnet company finds his briefcase attracted to the briefcase of the man who works at the scrap metal company.

The Barbarian At the Villiage Gate

And then, right in the middle of a Warrant/Winger double bill, Rob Myers becomes the first person in history to actually have his socks rocked off.

Supermoth

'Darling, it's the local Satanists wondering whether they can sing us some black metal.'

Don't forget to switch off your cellphones.

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

Future Opera

No, I'm afraid I don't know any songs in the death metal genre.

One night, Albert got haunted by a Heavy Metal demon.

"...Even Death himself went through a 'Glam Reaper' phase."

'And this is our research staff: Brad covers autos, Cathie covers Big Pharma, and Keith knows heavy metals.'

"Are you all right?"

"I thought it was just a phase, but now that he's in his 40s I'm not so sure!"