Celebrity Culture Commentator Gifts

THE PIED PAPARAZZI - "Ugh! Stop following me!"

'Has Oprah ever been married?'

Maps to the Stars Rehab Centres.

'No questions -- I just came out for a photo op.'

'You have TWO strikes against you. You are guilty and you're not a celebrity.'

Lana Turner

Kate Beckinsale

'You're very fortunate. Not many people can afford to have one of the top 10 diseases of the rick and famous.'

Flags

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Ours is not a creative clan."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

Please enjoy this culturally, ethnically, religiously and politically correct cartoon responsibly.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"Don't editorialize."

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Sensitivity Reader's Digest

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

The Decline of Europe

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."