Celebrity Crush Enthusiast Gifts

"Who put up this poster of Julio Iglesias?"

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

Bryan Ferry

Tom Hanks

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

George Clooney Machine

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

Ringo Starr

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

Leo McKern

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'It's one of the candidates for baptism. Wants to know if he can hold the hand that shook Elvis's hand above the water.'

'Get me public relations!'

Michael Caine

David Bowie

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

Hollywood or bust!

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

Viggo Mortensen

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

Bette Midler

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you?"

Amanda Seyfried

Meryl Streep

Justin Timberlake

Wayne and Kerry created a joint name like their idols Brangelina and Tomkat.

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."