Celebratory Chemists Gifts

"Gentlemen - raise your glasses'

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Interdisciplinary studies.

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

Person carrying balloons and plants.

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

The Brief collaboration Alfred Nobel And Thomas Edison

"Well, we got the grant."

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'Quickly boy, tell me which test tube you drank from?!'

'I'm inventing an acid that eats through anything.'

"Some genetic engineers we turned out to be!"

'Just for kicks, let's come up with something that has a good side effect.'

Working On Silly String Theory.

"Maybe we should have tried it on the rats first."

Chemical term for an unpleasant family of maladjusted alkanes.

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

Make your own bottled water.

How DNA molecules combine.

'...then add some of the yellow powder to those blue crystals, heat it for a while, and see how you like it.'

Pasteur and those who came before him and failed.

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah

'Hon, did you see that ultra-adhesive compound I brought home from the lab?'

'It's both physical and chemical. She works in a lab.'

Poisoning

"...then - and here's the funny part - I add the potassium sulfate..."

The Dangers of Unlicensed Science Teachers.

"Wouldn't it be easier to get one of those pregnancy testing kits from the chemiost, Julie?"

How scientists classify the Elements vs how students classify the Elements.

"There's definitely some chemistry between us!"

"Gracie! How could you? Do you know what little girls are made of?"